Mountains

It's been awhile - for some reason I felt the need to write down some thoughts (i.e. God's been speaking to me), so decided to go back to the old blog. We recently made a trip to Colorado, specifically the Colorado Springs & Manitou Springs area. What brought us to Colorado was my brother and sister-in-law's 50th anniversary. I was 3 when they got married! While there we did some sight-seeing, as one must do when in the beautiful mountains of Colorado. When the kids and I had visited in March 1992, we could only drive up Pike's Peak a short distance because the roads were closed due to snow. I thought it would be fun adventure to drive up the Peak with Eugene, Michelle, Tony, and Jason. Thankfully we had borrowed a Ford Explorer from a friend for our trip, so I was confident that the drive up and then down the mountain would be no problem. 

For those that don't know - Pike's Peak is one of the Fourteeners in Colorado, it's one of the mountains that is over 14,000 feet elevation, it's 14,110 to be exact (well depending on which sign you looked at!) From our hotel in Manitou Springs we had a good view of the still snow covered mountain, actually from anywhere in Manitou you have a good view of it! 

Garden of the Gods with Pike's Peak in the background

Crystal Reservoir - 9,230 ft elevation 

Sunday morning we got up early, ate breakfast, and started our 19-mile adventure to the Summit of Pike's Peak. We had fun the first part of the drive - stopped at all the little pull off areas, read some signs, went to the bathroom a lot (it's all the water you have to drink!), and were captivated with the beauty of Crystal Reservoir, which was the first major stop on our journey to the top.  While we were there, the Park Ranger/Gift Shop person, announced that there was a medical emergency further on up and to try to make it to Glen Cove Inn, the last stop before the final climb to the summit. They were going to bring a helicopter in and that is where it would land and he said there would be a delay if we didn't make it there before the copter did. So we loaded back up and continued our adventure. So far, none of us were having any issues with the altitude and the roads were not too bad, we had lovely pine trees and Aspen's on both sides of us - it was a nice forest drive, but we were definitely climbing steadily with each mile. We did stop a couple of more times, but made it to Glen Cove before the helicopter came. The parking lot beside the Inn wasn't accessible because of Park Ranger vehicles that were around a car, so we had to park across the road.  After parking we could see they were giving someone CPR on the ground beside a car and I said a quick prayer for them. We went into the gift shop, took a bathroom break again, found some snow behind the Inn, so had a quick snowball fight, and then went back to the Explorer to continue our climb. By the time we left Fire Rescue and an Ambulance had  arrived and the helicopter was beginning to circle overhead. After clearing the parking lot, we waited at the side of the road for a few minutes to watch it land, but it kept circling, so we decided to keep going. 

But, let's stop just a minute . . . .it's important to this story that you know that I have a terrible,paralyzing fear of heights and my son Tony does as well. Reflecting back I'm not sure what possessed me to think that I could actually drive up to the summit of this mountain, with it's hairpin turns, drop off edges (one of the stretches is called The Bottomless Pit for goodness sakes!), and altitude that makes it hard to catch your breath (not a good thing when having a panic attack!) Oh yeah - I think it was because I decided it was cheaper to pay the $50 for the carload drive up the mountain, than to pay $40 each for the Cog Train. 

Glen Cove Inn Check-point - 11,440 ft

So here we go, leaving Glen Cove Inn. I could tell right away the rest of the drive wasn't going to be so pleasant . . . the trees thinned out, the temperature steadily dropped, the elevation rose quickly, and the roads became twisting, turning, and TERRIFYING!! I really don't remember much of the drive up to the Summit, other than sheer panic and saying Jesus, over and over. Oh and Tony in just as much of a panic in the very back seat, basically on the floor - except when he would look up and scream. If I could have I would have been screaming too! I found myself in a situation where I could not turn around and go back down and I had to finish this journey. I kept praying, calling out to Jesus, trying to listen to Eugene talk calmly to me, yelling at Michelle because she kept saying "Look at that" (or something to that effect, that made me take me eyes of the road and get dizzy!!)  - and after seeing a friendly mountain goat, we finally made the last turn to the summit!! 

I'm not sure if the shakiness, knocking knees, and lightheadness were due to the altitude or from the sheer terror of the drive. We spent much longer at the Summit House than we planned on, because we were trying to figure out how in the world I was going to drive down that mountain - even the thought of it made me panic! We, or I should say Eugene and Jason, managed to get a few pictures.       

 

 We finally decided that Jason would drive down - he seemed pretty calm about it, though I know he was apprehensive. I sat in the front seat, grabbed on to whatever handles I could find, and squeezed my eyes shut tight! Jason did stop a couple of times on the way down, for pictures, but I think to calm himself too. We made it back to Glen Cove and stopped for a bite to eat and for the brakes to cool off. We also saw that the emergency vehicles had left, but there were Park Ranger trucks around a car and a tarp on the ground. Though no one could tell us, it was obvious that the CPR efforts had failed. We never did see anything on the news about what had happened. I wonder if someone had a heart attack from the altitude or from the fear. It was very sad to see though. After Glen Cove, I took over driving again and we continued our adventure - it was supposed to take about 3 hours and instead was almost 7 hours! 

So back to God speaking to me . . .at Life.Church Wichita on Sunday, one of the worship songs was Do It Again by Elevation Worship (I've posted it at the end of the blog - take a listen). It's one of my favorites and always reminds me that God is never going to fail me. But this time when it got to the bridge, it hit me really hard. 

I've seen You move, You move the mountains
And I believe, I'll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I'll see You do it again

I had a revelation at that moment - sometimes God doesn't move the mountains that we want Him to. Sometimes He makes a way for us to go UP the mountain. It doesn't mean that God has failed, it means that He wants us to trust Him fully and reach for something higher. He will be with us as we climb that mountain, even in our fear and doubt, He will never fail. God had Moses climb the mountain to hear from Him and be given the Law - Exodus 19:20(NLT) - The Lord came down on the top of Mount Sinai and called Moses to the top of the mountain. So Moses climbed the mountain.  Jesus went up mountains several times to pray and then after his resurrection He climbed a mountain again - Matthew 17: 1-2 - Six days later Jesus took Peter, and the two brothers, James and John, and led them up a high mountain to be alone. As the men watched, Jesus' appearance was transformed so that his face shone like the sun, and His clothes became as white as light. 

My mountains - my health, my weight, the pain that is constant in so many parts of my body, my depression, my insecurities, my fears - maybe, just maybe, I need to stop asking and waiting for God to move these mountains and start climbing them with Him holding my hand, guiding me, and making the way. It will be scary, but as long as I keep my eyes on Him it will be okay and I'll reach the summit and see what He has for me on the other side.