Daddy's Girl

May 2, 1984, part of my heart left me when my Daddy died. My parent's story is somewhat similar to mine and Eugene's. They had been high school sweethearts, broke up, but remained friends, Mom even married one of Dad's best friends.  Elden Ferris was born July 11, 1921, and Grace Neidholt was born November 13, 1923, so they are part of the Greatest Generation. The generation that survived the Great Depression, served admirable in World War II, and created the Baby Boom. My Dad served in the South Pacific, mostly stationed on the Philippine Islands, as an Army TEC4 Medical Specialist. 

After returning from WWII, Dad got married and had 2 sons and 2 daughters. His wife passed away when the kids were still young. Mom had lost her first husband, Dad's friend, in WWII, and was left with a young daughter. She married again and had 3 boys, then divorced. Dad worked as a claims adjuster at Social Security and saw Mom's name come up on a claim for survivor benefits, so he contacted her (I know it wasn't very ethical, but this was the early 1960's!) They married and I came along a couple of years later. Mom was 40, Dad was 42, and my half-siblings ranged in age from 20 to 7, when I was born. The only way I ever remember my Dad looking was bald, with a little white hair, and fat. But he was intelligent and so cool! 

Dad retired from Social Security when I was 7 years old. Growing up, he was the only Dad that went on the school field trips, this was in the 1970's, so that was very rare. All the kids wanted to ride with me because my Dad was going and he was fun! My Dad taught me to love all kinds of music and always took an interest in the music I liked as a teenager. He loved jazz and some of my most cherished items are the Maynard Ferguson albums I inherited from him. My Dad taught me to love books - he read everything, though his favorite genre was Science Fiction. Another cherished possession is The Hobbit book he gave me when I was 12. Issac Asimov was his favorite author and at a young age I read the Foundation Trilogy and loved it! Dad loved animals, especially cats, which is why I don't ever remember being without a cat in my home.

Dad also struggled with his faith, just as I have so often in my life. Yet he did develop a close relationship with God in his final years. He loved listening to the The Gaithers and Doug Oldham and we saw them perform at our church several times. He Touched Me by Gloria Gaither was one of his favorite songs and was sung at his funeral. 

There are so many good memories I have of my Dad, but there are also sad memories. Dad's health was never good and I always had a feeling growing up that my time with him would be short. We were never well off, though Dad worked hard. Even after he retired, he worked as a night custodian. When I was a teenager, we went through some pretty bad times partly due to my own rebellious, stubborn streak, and partly due to the mental illnesses suffered by both of my parents. No matter what I always knew Daddy loved and supported me. I wanted nothing more than to make him proud of me. 

A few days before my 20th birthday, Dad went to the hospital for surgery for carpel-tunnel syndrome, pretty routine surgery. While they were doing the pre-op, they found out his heart was not strong enough for surgery. The next few days were a blur and my memory has faded, but I do remember all of Dad's kids being there the day he had bypass surgery, which was a miracle in itself since one brother lived in New Mexico, one in Oklahoma, and one sister lived in West Virginia. Dad's surgery was on February 28, 1984, which was my 20th birthday. The surgery seemed to last forever, and when the surgeon finally came out to talk to us, he told us that Dad had suffered a stroke while he was coming out from under the anesthesia. He still felt that Dad would recover, but it would take longer. Dad started showing progress after a week, but then took a turn for the worse. I remember sitting with him in ICU, he couldn't talk because he had a tracheotomy, but we were able to communicate with hand signals and he could write. He wanted me to read his Bible to him. I spent as much time with him as I could after work each day. Finally on May 2, 1984, Dad went home to be with Jesus.  

Mom has always told me that I am built like my Dad. As I have become older, I see more of my Dad in me, not only my attitude, likes and dislikes, but my psychical appearance - thank God I'm not bald though!! I know if I don't make changes now, then I may end up with heart disease like my Dad. Dad never met my children, wasn't there when I graduated from college or started my career, yet so much of what I do is because I still want to make my Daddy proud. On June 14th, I will be participating in the American Heart Association Heart Walk with my Better U Teammates. I invite you to donate or better yet, come join us in the walk! Follow this link for more information: http://heartwalk.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1075061&supid=406868056    I will be walking in memory of my Dad, but also to save my own life and make Daddy proud. 

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